The Boys

S1:E32 Faux Flower Tips 1-10

• Jeremy Rice • Season 1 • Episode 32

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What do tips for making faux flowers look as realistic as possible in your home, chimpanzees, and a fraudulent sweatshirt have in common?  This podcast episode!  Amazing but true!  The Boys step you through the first 10 tips (out of 30) that they have for making faux flowers look as realistic as possible in your home, while also weaving in and out of side tangents, that all prove to be interesting and memorable!~  Lots of laughter in this episdoe!

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stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

What are we talking about today?

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Oh, God, live real life. Walk away from that microphone.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

you can back up a little bit because I don't, I don't know where it's taking you in Stuart, but it was really loud and I thought I'll just edit it and post, but you know, technically,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

that way.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

yeah, but I think you're

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

if I turn it down, is that better?

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

That's better. Yeah, that's

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

sure. You know, we'll see if my eardrums lasted through. It's fine. Just, just, just remember that

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Are you saying his voice makes your eardrums bleed? Is

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

No, no, God, no, no. The funny thing is, is because he has such a low, like register in his voice,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Uh huh. Uh huh.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

so well. And I think I've mentioned this to you, Dwayne, that

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

And I'm just like this! Hello!

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

it doesn't, it doesn't pick any of that up and, So then when he gets really animated, because you know, we all are not flat people, right? For example, when he says something and he raises his volume, it about blows me out of my seat. And I have to, when I'm, when I'm editing, it doesn't do it here, but when I'm editing it, I'm like, Oh God.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Sorry.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

So no, don't apologize. Listen, I am an amateur audio mixer designer, whatever the hell this is. And we're just lucky that it doesn't come 1980s AOL sign up dial tone.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Bing, bing, boom.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, so today, what this started from was I had, uh, someone email in asking she, she used to hate flow. Flow. She used to hate fo flowers, because she thought like many. Of we'll say younger crowd that faux flowers always meant like what the grannies had, like, and I always, associated with, like, if it looks like it was on the set of mama's family, which I guess I'm probably talking to the wrong crowd if they don't know who mama's family is, um, then get rid of it. Right. Cause that's, there's so much better stuff out there. And so then I remember that we had written a blog a while back and we say, we, it was really me, but you know, whatever we all, we all, we all work on this. Um, but we have a blog that was 30. Designer tips for making stems and arrangements look more realistic in your home. And I don't, I realized, I don't think I ever discussed this with you all, like what I went through and I put it on here. And I thought that these would be interesting for us to discuss because, um, some of them are so simple, but they're like, you know, we have horror stories, right? So that was the thought. Okay. So I will read them. Um, since I have them in front of me and I know you don't, um, number one, don't buy junk, I think you keep remembering that this is all trying to make them feel the most realistic in your home is so that it says we sound, uh, we know that sounds obvious. But sadly, it's worth stating if you buy junk flowers and upset with the arrangement because they look like junk, we need to have a little conversation and then it goes on to talk about how it doesn't look like mama's family anymore.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, it just goes back to you get what you pay for, right? You get what you pay for, and there's some of these box stores, that sell actually overpriced junk, and they jack the price up, and then they put it half price, and it's still overpriced, and it's still ugly. So, I think that's why we're having success is, We have the ability to choose silk flowers that look real and it's out there, guys. They just want to buy the cheapest crap and make the most markup is all they're doing.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

uh, you know, a dollar and 2 faux grass look great in a fish tank, but not in your dining room table.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, I will remind you, Jeremy does have I got frustrated with you multiple times because of what you, your pickiness, Jeremy, of putting stuff online. Right. And now I get it. I read the reviews and I get the comments and it's a little, little different how you do the approach. And, uh, so tell me, tell me what you're looking for when you put online because you have a little different approach than, than what I was used to.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, yeah, I'm going to interrupt just a second because it's the same quality as what we have in the store. But I think there's a lot more different things that we don't have in the store. Some things overlap, so I think he's done a great job of targeting who's buying online, quite honestly.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Agree. Agree.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

listen, it's all an experiment in, testing everything out under the sun. well, you know, there are things that we see in, or there's stems that we know that come in and we know that using them and mixing them in a, an arrangement, some things look better in an arrangement than they do individually. Right. So like we've had some. Dark red burgundy berries before that always come to mind that if you look at the stem of them, and we don't carry these online, but, uh, if you looked at the stem of them in the store, you'd go, well, those look pretty plastic. Those, those, those aren't the best thing. Right. And then you mix them in with an arrangement. And then for some reason, it totally changes the look and the feel of them. And you go, Oh God, I love those. Right. So there's those. I know that. When people open a box, they don't have it mixed together. Right? So anything that I look at and say, well, I know this will be good mixed in. I don't even try to test the water with. So I always try to think I want to have things that when people open, they are thrilled when they see it. And there's no question. If somebody picks up, comes into the store and picks up something, this is like what, you know, a lot of people talk about buying clothing when they go into a store. Um, yeah. Like they want to touch it. They want to feel it. Well, people would love to touch and feel this stuff too, but they don't have the ability to do that. So I have to make sure that the visual representation, the look of it and the quality of it, like it's not going to break on the way there, the stems are going to be in, you know, all those kinds of things. So. I really, what I always try to put myself in is if I were to order this and it come in, Ooh, and I have an example again of this last night. Oh, I am so mad. Oh, okay.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

uh oh. Uh

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh, I should have ran downstairs to get it. So, um, so

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

beep. Forewarning! Rant of Jeremy.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Rant and this probably so expletive field. Oh, I'm so fucking pissed. Okay, so, you know, we lost our sweet little Gracie a few weeks ago And so shortly after that like within days, I was targeted with this ad for these sweatshirts. And you uploaded a picture of your animal and they then embroidered Embroidered remember that word the pet on the left chest Um, their face, they took them and then they converted it into some kind of embroidery file and then they did that. And then you could also choose to have something embroidered on the sleeve. So Jeremy was having a really hard time with our loss of Gracie. And, so I thought, you know, this is a sweet little thing that I can do. They just has a little thing you can wear around. Right. So I ordered it. What came in yesterday? I opened up this bag. It is the color of the sweatshirt that I ordered. It is in a screen printed version of some cat that is not Gracie. Screen printed, not embroidered. And then it does have the text on the sleeve that was also supposed to be embroidered, but screen printed. And it is the size that might fit Allie. For a reference everybody, Allie is five years old, my husband is forty. Uh, or forty one. Um, yeah. I was so this, I look, I get this. Okay. So this is why I get so paranoid about trying to put the quality on that I feel confident in because I have been burned so many fucking times ordering things and then it's the whole, what I ordered, what I got. And then I can't go back and find where in the hell I ordered it from. Cause you know, some random site that you only order from once you can't ever find again to even like go to the credit card company and say, Hey, this is bull and then the credit card company was like, well, is it bull? And then you have to, it's a whole dance. It's just, it's. So my goal getting back to the subject is to not do that to our customers.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, they'll get your money one time. Right?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. I'll never

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

going to get it never again. Where with what you've created is repeat customer after repeat customer after repeat customer. This is my second order, my third order. Um, if you recall, what's the the customers that made the most orders, Jeremy, has placed the most

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Um, probably if I had to guess her name, Cindy, um,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

out, Cindy.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

so shout out Cindy. And I was, I was trying to look, cause I was going to tell you how many she's plays, um, and she has been making stuff. That's all I, but, um, you know, we do handle the orders.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

You know that our house is way too full with our crap.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

And is she, she's somewhere in the United States,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yes, she's, she's in California.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

so she's not in Kentucky.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh Lord. No, no, this is shipping across the country. Um, but you know, the names do come across and you do, you see them time and time again, time again. And so, you know, I see them when they come through and so we always communicate. And, um, okay. Are you ready? 80 orders.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah. Wow.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Does Cindy listen to our podcast?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I don't know. You know what, the next time she, she just had an order went out, I think yesterday or the day before. So I'll send her a note and make sure she listens.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah. Shout out, Cindy.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

um, but thanks Cindy. So, yeah, so, I mean, that's what I don't want for us to happen with customers. So that's why I'm always really, I don't, I mean, I'll use the word anal, but I just, I don't want to risk it because. The reviews are everything. Um, cause the social proof. So,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

your reviews are through the roof. They're through the roof. And there was, there was one I read, and I mean, you have like five, One stars, but one of them, I don't know how she said it, but I was like, if I could come through the computer and rip your throat out, bitch, I would because

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, listen,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

the word subpar or something. I was like, you're just a fool because we don't do

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I, I, I I'm empathetic to probably a fault. Um, but I always try to think, you know, look, I've had bad days. I know I've given bad reviews to things. I really didn't mean just to get my things out. So we have so few of them that I'm not that worried

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Uh, but we try to show up and do it

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

She's an outlier. It's just like, I was like, ooh, I don't knock you. Go away. Bye.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. My, my favorite ones are the, when we get the one star review and then their comment is, I thought this was real.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Thought it was a what?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

They thought it was real. So then they got it. No, I'm not joking. No.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, that's a moron. I don't know what to say. I mean, it's fake, artificial everywhere, right? who who buys one flower that's real at the time?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Uh,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

foolish

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

would be, you would, no, I won't say foolish. I just don't know what they're doing with it, but you'd be surprised. I mean, people order just one, you know, whatever makes, whatever brings you joy

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

No, I can. I, no, no, no, no. You heard me wrong. I can understand Ordering one faux flower, right?'cause you're finished something. What are you going to do with one? If you are on this website and you thought you were disappointed that you got one, you're ordering one real flower and it comes fo. It's like

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

No,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

you are ordering a one single red rose online. You are like, you the cheapest person I've met, bro.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

This is also a public service announcement that the word F A U X is pronounced foe that I have learned throws people that a lot of people pronounce it Fox. And you go on, you know, I am not, I'm not, I'm not trying not to make fun of people. I'm trying, I'm just trying to educate the peoples,

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

valence and not a valance.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Okay, so we're going to, is it herb or herb?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, it depends on where it depends on where you're from.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Okay, so that was one of those tomato,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

My, my favorite was, uh, Eddie Izzard said, um, he was talking about the words, you know, aluminum, aluminum. And then, cause he was English. And then he said, and you all say herb and we say herb because there's a fucking H in it.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

true, true enough. Okay, so what's our next one?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

All right. Number two is, um, know what real flowers look like. And so I know that sounds again, really simple, but if you're going out, you know, you can see some really bad fake interpretations of flowers.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Electric blue roses do not grow in nature.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

and this isn't even talking about color. This is just talking about like, um, like details, right? Like sometimes it's just so far off, like a sunflower that they make that, you know, it has a, that pitted center, right? It's all textural and stuff. Well, if that is made

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Smooth brown plastic, which I've

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah, that's, that, that, that's a dead giveaway, right? That's, and again, this all goes back to trying to find realistic interpretations, right? Trying to make it feel the most realistic. Okay. So knowing what real stems kind of look like, if you're thinking you're looking for something, look some pictures up first before you look and then you'll see, um,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

and one of the things we, well, I'm gonna say this. One of the things that we, because we used to do weddings and events and things like that, and we were very accustomed to working with real flowers. When we were in the realm of buying faux flowers, because it was in our mindset what they should look like, it was easier for us to pick them out. And it's like, you guys pick out the best looking, uh, faux flowers. And I'm like, yeah, we'll just pick them that look like. Real ones and that's all you got to do

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Um, number three, now this is, okay, so it says, unless you live in the tropics, don't use tropical flowers and listen, we're not talking about orchids. Okay, we're talking about, and again, this is supposed to be realistic. And if you're going to leave this up for six months in your house, you're bird of paradise. Does it make sense? Now, if you're just need something for a sweet memory of where you used to be in the tropics, if this is for you, that's great. But if you're trying to convince somebody that these are real, probably not the best way to approach it. So if you use flowers grown in your area, it's much more easy to convince.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

that one's on the fence for me a little bit. Uh, I get what the concept is. Um, generally, I'm always going to go. I want flowers that represent the region that you're from. Right? Because in other words, I don't think if you live in Florida, you should have, uh. Magnolia is everywhere, right? You well, I guess you can technically, uh, but it's orchid. Yeah, you technically can see. It doesn't seem like you would want to do traditional like what we do traditional fussy flowers With lots of colors and things like that, right, but it's more tropical based But the same instant I wouldn't necessarily think that I don't want to walk in and see a tropical based floral faux floral arrangement in somebody's house in lexington every single day because it doesn't look like that's what you could be in your gardens I always want the

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

what, yeah, that's what

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

You go, whatever, whatever is at your disposal that you cut from that's local is what you've sourced into your house. That really is, that's a good way to say it, isn't it? What's

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Isn't that what it said?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

That's what he just said, Dwayne.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Isn't that what it was?

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

yeah, I'm so

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

It wasn't, don't use it. It's whatever is locally in your area.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Okay. Wow. It took me a minute to get there. Well, you'll just edit that out and make

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

No! Ha ha ha ha ha! Alright, so this is when I know that we all three are always very, Are you done?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

We got two more. We got Two more?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Two more? We're just on number four! Um, geez louise. Alright, uh, number four. This is one that we all, um, we're always very focused on. Buy artificial flowers that come in the same ish, quote unquote, colors if they come in nature. Going back to electric blue roses or electric blue or turquoise magnolias. These do not exist in real life. There is, there is nothing worse than a blue poinsettia.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Preach it brother. Preach it.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I mean, you know, or a purple magnolia. I mean, come on.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

happen. Doesn't happen.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

mean, you know, there are tones of, you know, you've got the Japanese magnolia that are that really pretty pinky purple color and you've got like, there are those kinds of elements that are out there. But here's the tip that there is, is if you're trying to add blues or purples to something, instead of trying to add a flower, now look, you can do hydrangeas that are purple. Well, those are obviously blue. Those are easy ways to get it in. Um, but the other way that I think is probably even the easier way to get these colors in is to use a berry. Cause there's so

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

I'm on the floor and he's like, you don't have a lot of blue flowers. No, no, we

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Neither does Jesus.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

got

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Ha ha ha ha ha

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

blueberries. I got you some blue hydrangeas. I got you some blueberries because that's about all that's blue out there that's real and I am not, we are not going to have some fake flower that's fake blue in here just because you wanted to match your granny house, right? It ain't gonna happen. Just not gonna happen. Anyway, so preach it. Yeah, thank you, Jesus.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I mean, in my mind, it always goes back to, and I didn't know this exists, but after I learned that this exists, this is always what I kind of think of is that the people that had back in the day when you could get the toilet paper that was pink and blue and yellow, and it

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

yeah, Charmin had those, yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

mean, I don't know what, what

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

It was.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

was a sermon. Um, but like, it's that like tried to.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Stop there. Stop there. Stop there. What the world needs to know is Stuart can have a frugality to him. Okay, but the thing, the two things that he does not compromise on, well three things, good alcohols, good foods, and good toilet papers. If you're going to use our restroom, your little tushy is going to touch some Charmin every time you're in here. Full disclosure, so there you go. Now go, Jeremy.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

All three of those things play together very nicely.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh, let's see. Um, number six, massing out one flower is a foolproof way to arrange that appears more realistic. And we've said this time and time again, if you just mass out one thing, it looks like, you know, just cut and gathered. It doesn't have to be a fixed fussy arrangement.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Get your bundle.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. Get your bundle, plop them. Number seven, when it comes to arranging the flowers, we want them to look like you've clipped them from the garden and brought them in. Um, so complex. Designs, unless for a special occasion can read very artificial, very easily. Um, and I think this goes back to, um, I don't know if I put this on, if this is another one, but the other thing that I always think of with this is, um, when the real housewives of Beverly Hills came on and like these, you know, it was ridiculous, um, but I, you know, back in the day, I used to watch it. I

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

So why do you watch that trash?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I don't, watch it now. This was like probably back when it first came out. So it was probably

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh my God.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

college or right out of college?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Speaking of trash, we are watching the series called Monkey Love. Lord, it is, it is horrible. And I just sit there, I'm like, I feel more stupid every episode I watch, but I have to keep watching them.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I don't, I don't even know, can you give us a

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

It's kind of like, it's kind of like Tiger King, except this woman, well a few women, have chimpanzees. That they have raised and they call them their children. And then these chimpanzees get. Older as, as they do and age. And then they have to keep them in their house. One of them killed one of their friends, ripped her face off. And, uh, this is like in 2003, this chimpanzee ripped her friend's face off because it got mad and of course I had to shoot it, put it down. And then there's this other chimpanzee that this crazy, crazy woman has, and she's been hiding this chimpanzee from PETA because PETA has been trying to get it to take it to a sanctuary. It's crazy.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

don't know what my face looks like because I don't have my

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I know.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

we're both in shock of like, this is real. This is

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. Well, you said trash TV and it, I instantly went there. So

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah. Okay. No, stay away from monkey love.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

it's if you don't want to think, go ahead and turn that on.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh, that's, see that's, I've turned on Hallmark, Lord. I can't, I, how's, how, well I don't even get feel, I just kind of look at it and I'm numb by the end of the night, but. Um, how's the, how, ripped off the face?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

yes. Cause they,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Aren't you stuck at that? I was like, oh, oh

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

And it's still alive? She still has this

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

no, they shot it. They shot it on site. They put it down and there's actually an interview with Oprah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah, I remember

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

and Oprah asked her, to lift her veil so the public could see ripped nose off her eyeballs out.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah, I've, I've watched it. I remember that.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Mm

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

You know what the failure of this was? The woman that had the Chi Z, the, the owner, they shoulda shot her

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

and they should have because a year later, she went and bought another underground

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh God,

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

A little

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

you know, here's

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

people buy these things for, I think, well, cause this one lady used to have them take him to the little kids birthday parties, of course, when they were babies and you had to pay 3, 000 to have this monkey birthday party and this little chimpanzee running around well, but then she bred them and sold these babies for 40 and 50, 000

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oh my Lord.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

buy them. So who knows, who knows who has chimpanzee hiding in their basement?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, I mean, this has got, this has gone way off topic,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah, way off topic tangent. I never thought we were, you know, okay. well, let's let's move on past monkey. Love. I don't want no more. Yeah. I thought monkey love was something sexual, but it's not, but I'm glad. Yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, um, real quickly, you know, our friend Esther did, was introduced to someone's monkey in the basement and the, and the monkey kept throwing shit at her. Yeah.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

We can't do what he

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

went to a consult. She went to a consultation and the guy's like, oh, I need to take you to the basement. She thought, Lord, I'm gonna get killed today. But no, there's this chimpanzee down there. Throwing poop at her. He had chimpanzee in his basement. Yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

listen, um, I understand the love of animals. I do. I understand how you can get attached, but oh lord. Oh god.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

You know,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

All right, well, if y'all have a monkey or you had an interaction with one, reach out to our hotline because I want to know about it.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

I'm going to say, I don't want to know. I

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

we won't share your location, but

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

No, we won't. We won't share you with PETA.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Oof.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

will.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

All

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

you. I will share.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Number eight. Number eight.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Number eight, realistic faux flowers have a range of colors and not just one color. And that is very true. Because if you look at a flower that's out in the yard, um, I mean, unless you're looking like a, let's say like a white, um, sun patient or for example, that are really, really like just intense, you know, bright open white, you know, there's always shades of color to them, right? Like there's some pedals, maybe a little bit darker, a little lighter versus if you get some, it looks like it's been painted with spray paint. It's a dead giveaway that it's not. Real. And so that's always why when, when we look for like hydrangeas, for example, there's a lot of depth of color in those because they have a lot of depth and color in real life.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

well, that's the 1st 1 side range is you mix some white ones together with some green ones together. I've even taken the white hydrangea and the blue hydrangea. Cut the blue hydrangea apart 20 percent of it and tucked it on the edge of the white hydrangea to you know Like a white hydrangea starting to turn a color And because we may not be able to buy that or they don't make it so we manipulate Mixing the two flowers. You're basically making your own flower in a way Uh, and it works and it's that that but it's that range of color with hydrangeas. That's so important to mix together

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Range of color.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Range of color,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Um, number nine, if you aren't going to change out

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

okay, I got to stop you again. You know, what just felt like, uh, this Saturday night live range of color, you know, it was goes back to sweaty ball.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Some

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

That's how you said it. That's

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

sweaty balls.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

you said it. I was like, it just felt like good time sweaty ball. So

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Okay. I was like, I don't know how you got there, but

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

I know just edit that out. That's just how you delivered it. It just made me

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

are your, how are your muffins?

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yes, we'll edit this part out. But that's what

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

that's the fun

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

funny. Yeah, yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

nine, if you aren't going to change the arrangement out seasonally and no shame, if you don't buy flowers that you can get in real flowers. In the grocery store year round. And I think that's probably, that's a good tip, right? And she's like, you can always get a hydrangea. You can always get tulips. You can always get roses.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I never thought of that.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

you know, and again, this is again, if you're trying to convince people that it's a real arrangement, right? I keep going back to that because if you know, an example of this is like a beautiful pink peony. If. Pennies bring you joy and you want to see them all the time. You get yourself a pink penny in October, right? I think we just, uh, yesterday when I

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

your house, inside your

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, there's a reason behind this, Jeremy. The house on XXXXXXXXXXX Drive, um, please take down your forsythia wreath, uh, in January. Please. Okay. The forsythia is frozen.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

It is dead.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Dead.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

It's in hibernation.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah, I was like, I just want to just rip that off that door.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

a house that's not that one, but they leave their forsythia wreath up on their door year round. And you know, if that makes them happy, I get it. Cause it makes me happy. But, um,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

does not make me happy. It makes me irritated.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

rip

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yes, it does. It does. It does. I always go back to, I'd rather have nothing. Right? Don't buy a wreath from us. Don't buy a basket and think that you should leave it up 24 hours a day, seven days a week, three or six days a year. It's seasonal. It's seasonal, people. I can make you one that lasts three or four months, right? But I can't make it last 12 months. I just can't. It doesn't happen. Sometimes if, if you don't want to switch it out, it's okay for your door to be naked as opposed to being ugly or wrong. Okay.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

well, you know what, what made me

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

I think I just lost two of our listeners.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

God, now we're at eight, uh, 18, um, one of the, uh, one of the things that, as I was reading this, I was thinking about, uh, when I was helping pack orders on Tuesday that I bet we shipped out, no joke, a hundred pennies. Pink, pink, pink and white panties. Um, but I know one, one of the customers, I know they were working on a wedding and I don't remember what the other one was, but I was like, yeah, you know what? This brings you joy. And this is inside your house. You, you do it. But if you were trying to do something that feels realistic, when people come over that you want to convince them that these are real and that they don't think, oh, this is just something else, keep it to what you can get. It's just easier to do it that way.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Fair enough. Fair enough.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Um, number 10. Oh, okay. Uh, you may be tempted to buy flowers and bushes because they are less expensive, but that's not the only adjective to describe them. Um, then what's bolded in this one is, people use silk flower bushes for cemeteries. For a reason they are cheap. The color shows from a distance and no one gets up close with them. Cause they're just trash. I added that last part. Um, now I'm not going to say that every flower bush is trash. Cause I don't believe that as a general rule rule. I think it's probably fairly fair to say 90 percent of

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Fair. There's a few. You're right. No, that's fair. But most are

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

we, we even have some white hydrangea bushes that we use, um, that we can use to make arrangements and it's just a really great basic hydrangea. Um, and we have them in different

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

The, the key to that is we cut them apart.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Right. And so the point

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

don't just stick a bush of geranium on your kitchen table.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

so, and what

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well see that's one of those. I do stick a a a a red drain that we sell in my pots out front that supplement my geraniums that are not doing good at this summer and they look pretty good. Right. But now on my kitchen table's a different store'cause it's in my face. Right. So in a way it's outside. It's like my funeral,

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Outside they grow in the

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Right. Yeah.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

do not.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

He's got his funeral flowers outside.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

On my front porch. I have a window box. Oh, that's really high up there and it's really difficult to water. And asparagus, fern, spring rock, and that, and those red geraniums are in that window box and it looks good people. Now, I'm not going to tell every neighbor in every world that it's my fake flowers because they don't need to know. But truthfully, now people do know the tens of tens of listeners that my window box. On the tall one is fake, but it looks good. It looks good.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Now there are some times where a bush can make sense. So obviously if it's, if it looks, if the flowers are good, but one of the issues a lot of times with the bush is that usually the stems of the flowers are just like a really thin coated

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

metal wire, right? Like there's no detail. Details. So that's obviously a really, um, Easy giveaway that it's, you know, junk. And then a

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Well, I am with Jeremy. I mean with Stuart rather that if it's at your face, it's very close. Usually Bush is a bad idea. You can tell it right. You can hide it in different, but if it's really close to your face, it's usually a bad idea.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. The only other exception I think of is that if you're doing something where you're like massing out of flowers, let's say you're cutting the stem off the bush and then you're just mounding all these heads together to make like a, a bowl or, or cover a figure or something I see, I can see using that, but still I would have to. You can't use, just say you can use every bush to do that. Cause they're just, you know, it's again, there's a reason why the people use them in cemeteries, because they're inexpensive and somebody rips them right off, you know, it's, it stinks, but it's not that big of a pain in the butt. Yeah. All right. So there's the, there's 10, we'll leave it there. There's, there's 30. So we'll do some more episodes of this, but I think that out of that, there's 10 really good,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Useful, useful

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

are simple, but things that you wouldn't have thought about or things that may be like, oh yeah, you know what you, that is right. And I just thought that's really useful to share. Um, I

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

of the things that you said, um, to me a few weeks ago, and I don't know if it's on podcast, I think it's just in the store, and it was, and I've used this and I went, huh. So it goes back to these things about common sense. And you're like, oh, I didn't see it. See that lens. It's like, you know, if you have a wreath and you put the bow at the top, it makes the wreath smaller. You put it at the bottom, it makes the wreath bigger. And it was like this, this like, light bulb went, huh, I never thought of it that way. And lord if I have not used that and told everybody and said every customer now,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

You know, I don't know where I learned that about where you place the bow. I I'm sure it was some video that I saw somewhere. I mean, that's just how we consume so much stuff now. Um, but I was like, Oh, Oh, and it really does make a

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

of where you want to pull your focus.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

and there's nothing wrong with either one it's just Just point out the, this, this concept. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I really just never saw it through that lens. But anyway, there you go. So thank you, Jeremy,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

You're

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

and the interwebs for teaching us one thing good.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I'm doing my job. So to end this episode, and I did not give you all a heads up about this. I wanted to go back to something that we started. Way back, probably like in the second episode, and I don't know how many times we've done it since, but something that has brought you joy recently, since we're always trying to, like, bring joy to other people. And so I'm going to give you a second to think. For yours. Cause I can, I have mine ready. Two things. Okay. Okay. I, you know, me, I can never just do one. Um, the amount of people that have reached out, sent me sympathy cards, sent me. Sympathy messages, um, who have come to give me a hug at the store, uh, over the sweet loss of our little sweet Gracie, um, has really been, appreciated and touching and, people who have lost a pet, um, That they've had for a very long time. There's like a weird little connection. Um, and you can, you just see the people through a different, I guess we'll say it that way because we have another lady at the store who just lost a pet this week. Um, and so there's just like, I don't know. It's different when you, I don't know. It's just, it's, you see, you see it through a different lens. And so I'm just saying, thank you. Thank you for all the kinds of words and all the kind of thoughts and all that. And so I'm just not, I'm not trying to milk it or make it any longer. But I just want to say, thank you. That's all I want to do. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your compassion and your heart. Um,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

in whatever form it is.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yes. Um, the other thing is, is at some point when I was editing the, podcast at the very end, if people listen through the end of the music, when the music goes off, I've started adding a little, um, It's just a little bit of a soundbite of the three of us laughing from something one of us said. I can't even remember what it was. so if you haven't listened, I'll let through the music to the end. please do to hear the laugh because I, it is my fav, one of my favorite points of editing every episode is editing and making sure everything's there and then putting that laugh on the end and it just brings me so much joy. Every

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Love it.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

every time. So if you haven't listened, listen, it'll make you smile.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Mr. Hurt, what you got, brother?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Well, know, I was just on vacation. That's always joyous, but, but it was, um, a different type of vacation because I went with friends that I have had for 30 years and we have never gone on vacation together. And it was, Us four and our spouses and just one night we all just sat there and just looked around and I was like, can you believe we've known each other for 30 years this year? And then like that realization hit and it's like, Oh shit, we've been through a lot of stuff, but that made you feel good because those people were still there.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. It's everything, isn't it? It's everything. So I'm going to ask you a question. Are you aware that you sent me a video?

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

I was aware that, um, my Jeremy sent you a video.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Not me, not me.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

well, I didn't get it, so you, you had to send it to me. And so the, what it is, is we, uh, Joe and, uh, Kim made this dress for him. It's called Autumn Joy, and we're bringing in, and anyway, so Stuart made a reference to this in the video, and was in the ocean, the Bahamas, and he had seaweed on his head, and I watched it and I went, huh, okay. And then I thought for a second, well, he's just being joy filled. And I said, can I post this? And he said, sure. And I went, oh, and then I thought, you know, I'm not going to post this. I'm just not sure about this one because what came across was, uh, He's drunk at 10 o'clock in the morning, or he's gay at 10 o'clock in the morning, or he's drunk and real gay this morning. And I thought, I'm not going to post this one. I just don't know if the world is really prepared to see this. Now he's fully clothed, there's nothing like that, I'm just not sure if, uh, this one doesn't feel right. I'm not sure if he would want me to share this one. Now, now the world needs to see it probably. Uh, but it's really funny. It's really, really funny, right? So, I was like, oh, I was like, huh. I'll leave

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

comes to me and says, did you see this video? I was like, oh yeah, Jeremy sent it to me. It was hysterical. And he goes, is he drunk? And I think it was like, and he goes, I was going to post it. Then I thought it's like, 11, I think we got it like around 1130 or something like that. Yeah. And he was like, and this is like 1130, so could he be drunk at 1130 in the morning? And I'm like, well, I mean, what I was thinking in my head was, well, I've been to plenty of brunches where I'm chipped nonetheless at the beach at

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

We did have morning. Mimosas.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

And, um,

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

obvious.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

and I thought, I thought before I could even think, well, yeah, no, I've, I've totally been toasted at 11 o'clock in the morning at a brunch

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

See, I don't drink,

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

and it's like, you know, one needs to be drunk this early in the morning and I'm like, Oh yeah, nobody, nobody. Oh Lord.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

love it. Okay, my joys. Actually, one was a sweet surprise, and Carol, a long time client of mine, came in, and she's a little bit older, and she is from One of the upper states, and so she's a little more, reserved in her approach. So when this hillbilly entered her life about 15 years ago, she just didn't quite know what to do with me. Right. Because she has a, stiff upper lip kind of personnel, not unapproachable, but, you know, she was just a little more reserved in her demeanor and, me just kind of just being me and obnoxious and things. Uh, but we have found To navigate our relationship, and I think she's just the kindest person in the world. And I think she kind of gets me too now. Right? And so she brought in a book the other day, and with a sweet little message, and it was a photography book about Appalachia. And again, when she met me, she didn't know that I was a crazy ass hillbilly. Right?\ And my love of Appalachia. And that's the reason I comment on the book. Well, this is, again, Probably 10 years ago. She said, you commented on this book and how beautiful it was and I wanted you to have it.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Was it the book by JD Vance?

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

No, it was not. It was not. Yes, it was not. And I thought, how beautiful was that, that somebody heard this and remembered it and kept it in their heart for 10 years, right? So I go back to the gifts and things that you do don't have to be expensive. Right? It just has to be thought field. And that's a life lesson that it is as simple as just sending a text to somebody. Right?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

hmm.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

I'm thinking of you, or, you helped me last week, Jeremy, and I had these little tea towels that were, very economical. And I sent them to my sweet daughter in Northern Kentucky. Didn't have to be expensive. It was just, I'm thinking of you. It's those little acts that mean so much. And the other one was, and I posted this on social media, that our sweet Amy, again, longtime customer and, I worked with her in her first house and the first husband and, that, well, she kept the house and got rid of the husband, uh, and I didn't, I didn't care for him very much. So with that said, she has a new feller in her life and she's to be married this coming weekend. And she's adopted a little baby dog and a new feller, Amy doesn't have children, but new feller has. teenagers. And so, this new mom to be has had to figure out how to navigate all these things in life. Uh, so with that said, her life has changed in a beautiful, beautiful way. And she came in and she told me that she just turned in her badge at work. And after 23 years, that last Friday was her last day of work. And the first place she wanted to come was come to this house and shop.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

hmm.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

How beautiful is that?

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

hmm. Love that. Happy place.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Happy place, happy place. We are, we are her happy place. And, uh, just also to tell you out there, um, for you childless cat ladies, there is hope.

stuart_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Yeah. Taytay says so.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Yeah, they say, yeah.

jeremy-host606_1_09-12-2024_091635:

Lord. Okay. Well, as always, thank you all for listening. I think today was a fun and informative podcast. We will be back with another new episode next Wednesday. If you haven't downloaded our mobile shopping app, please do it's HouseFloral all in word in your app store for both Android or iPhone. And we're continuing to do our live sales last night. We actually did one from my personal home showing some fall stuff and it was fun. And we had lots of people joined from all over the country. and if you have a monkey in your life and you want to tell us about it, or if you have a horror story, please also, or anything else, you know, I listen, we'll listen, we'll listen to it. Um, you can use our hotline 859 412 1572. And aside from that, we'll see you next week. All right. Thanks guys.

dwayne_1_09-12-2024_091637:

Thank you guys.

People on this episode

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Dwayne Anderson

Host
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Jeremy Rice

Host
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Stuart Hurt

Host